Symbolic family: invaluable help
The symbolic family
I learned about this technique during a training course on emotional regulation: the symbolic family is an exercise derived from systemics (an approach that considers the individual not as an isolated being but as part of interconnected systems), which involves choosing five inspirational figures – real or fictional – to make an inner family of support.
The aim is to be able to mentally invoke this family when you’re going through a difficulty, feeling lost or needing guidance, taking advantage of each other’s qualities to better manage situations.
How to create your own symbolic family 
:
1. Select 5 inspiring figures
Choose 5 people who embody qualities you need. These figures can be movie characters, writers, mentors, or even loved ones.
Choose at least 5 because in some situations, members will not be available and you may not be able to invoke them depending on the subjects; out of these 5, at least 3 you don’t know, it would be a shame to remake your family because you no longer get along with these people 😬
Take the time to detail their qualities (3 minimum each) on paper.
This is an exercise that can take several weeks to build.
2. Anchor your characters
After choosing your family members, take turns imagining them using their qualities in situations for 10 breaths. It’s important to build up your characters and let your brain sleep on them for about 2 nights before using them.
Your symbolic family can evolve over time. You can replace certain figures or add new ones as you develop.
My symbolic family is made up of my therapist (reassuring, a good listener, gentle, non-judgmental), my supervisor (reassuring, frames me, enables me to take a fair look at things), Louise Chabat (a therapist I follow on the networks, she’s not afraid of other people’s gaze, can shake me up if need be, cultivates joy), Aragorn (a character from Lord of the Rings, for me he symbolizes high values, justice, courage, righteousness) and Ray Donovan (a TV character who symbolizes… just the opposite! He’s clever, can get out of any situation and find solutions to any problem, even if it means getting out of the box). Each in their own way inspires and reassures me.
3. Activate your symbolic family when needed
When you are going through a difficult time or have a decision to make :
✅ Close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting around a table with your symbolic family.
✅ Ask them a question or explain your problem: Do you have any advice for me? What would you do in my place?
✅ Observe their reactions and advice.
Little by little, this imaginary family can become a real emotional reference point, accessible at any time!